What do I learn from a book?
My therapist had given me a draft copy of a book he was writing. It was a near complete draft; still going through edits. He gave me a copy to read as he felt I could benefit from it, given my current state of mind.
I started reading it and was down some 70 odd pages, before I had my next therapy session. I could only read that much in a week with my day job, my work at home, and my writing. The book talks about his experiences from childhood to now; sort of an autobiography, but focused on his evolution at a mental level.
Me: You speak about certain changes that happened over which you had no control. Changes that helped you see the world differently, helped you question things happening around you, changes at a philosophical level that you did not ask for or know anything about. Today, your mental state is because of some of these experiences. It’s not that you did anything specific to enable these experiences. So, how would reading this benefit me? It is not that I can do what you did and have similar experiences.
My Therapist (MT): One of the things that I’ve mentioned in the beginning of the book is that the events mentioned in the book, how they happened, or why they happened, are not important. The result of those experiences and that they happened, is what is important.
Me: How will it happen to me?
MT: I don’t know. No one knows. However, do you believe that there is more to what we see as life today? Do you believe that it is possible for someone to be free of all conditioning and live life being present fully, every moment
Me: Yes, I do strongly believe that it is possible.
MT: Then the universe will take you down that path in its own way. Every person’s experience is different. There is no one path to the truth.
Me: So, will it happen to me? Can I be free of all conditioning?
MT: If you want, and have asked for it, then the universe is already working on it. It will happen. Just surrender and trust.
Me: Coming back to the book. Why is it important for me? What will I get from it?
MT: A book might have a lot of messages. However, a few will strike you hard. When you read, you’ll feel like you’ve had a revelation. That one message, or few messages that resonate with you, are enough.
Me: Interesting.
MT: When you read this book, what stuck with you was the possibly of having a free mind, a mind free of all conditioning. That’s why you asked me that question. And do you believe it could happen to you?
Me: Yes. I just don’t know how, but I do believe it is possible.
MT: That’s enough. You’ve got what you had to get from the book. Of course, finish reading the book. In fact, any book that resonates with you in some form or the other, read it again after some time. What you get from the book will be different the next time, as you are no longer the same person mentally.
Me: That is true. If I think about all the books that I’ve read, say more than six months ago, I can remember only one message from each book. At the time of reading, there were several insights, but now when I think about it, I can recollect only one take away.
MT: While it does not apply for all forms of writing, for books like these, what matters is the message you absorb. Once you get the main message, the words and the other aspects do not matter.
It made a lot of sense to me. Although very rarely, I sometimes summarize my takeaways from books that I read.
Damien by Hermann Hesse
One such book was Damien by Hermann Hesse. As I was talking to my therapist, I was thinking about the messages that stuck with me from different books. If I have to remember one take away I had from that book, it is that there is no right or wrong, it is a matter of perspective. Hence, question everything. Just because you’ve always been told something is right and something is wrong, don’t go by it. Question it and then make a call. I had a few more books that I could recollect and I could remember only one take away from each book, barring one. More on the later in the post. What I wanted to do was go back to my notes for Damien and see what I had summarised as my takeaways. Pasting what I wrote after I read that book (must be 6 to 8 months ago) below:
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I’ve been trying to assimilate my learning from the book Demian by Herman Hesse for the past few days. I finished the book last night, however, my learning began from the time I started reading the book. I don’t know if learning is the right word- realisation is a better word probably? I decided to pen down my understanding of what Herman Hesse was trying to convey in the book. It wasn’t a straight forward read. As I tried to quickly summarize in my mind, I could not clearly explain what I took away from the book. Hence, penning my thoughts down, as it helps me articulate better.
Society is necessarily a limiting force
The rules defined by the society, what is considered good, what is considered bad, what is defined in different religious texts, as noble their intentions might have been, are all now corrupted to suit people of power. These limit you from realizing your true potential. However, there is a positive to this. The binding forces of the society form a cocoon around you, and you are trapped like a caterpillar in the cocoon. If you manage to break out of it, you fly out a butterfly. This is the most important purpose of life- realize your fullest potential.
There is no good, or bad
There are no good or bad thoughts, no good or bad actions. A duty-bound individual, suddenly taking to drinking, or smoking, does not make him bad. A god-fearing person having desires for the typical (so-called) vices, need not feel guilty about it. Every action that you take might be a result of your current state of mind, sometimes to compensate for your current state of mind- like taking to smoking to feel macho. However, dwelling in it perennially will lead you nowhere. Guilt is the biggest problem. If you are having thoughts that you do not consider appropriate, either muster the courage to dismiss those thoughts, or live them out completely (even if as just thoughts; if actually experiencing it is not possible). Just having unfulfilled thoughts, or stifling thoughts when they arise, ridden with guilt, will only destroy you. Of course, this does not mean that you would murder someone just because you are having thoughts about murder. However, even that cannot be categorically said as a bad deed. All of your actions help you evolve, evolve towards realizing your true potential, only if you are willing to recognize the right cues and are willing to change, flowing like a river with where your destiny leads you, rather than be stagnant like a lake. If you are willing, an environment will be created for you to snap out of whatever you are stuck in, so that you can move forward.
The guide is within you
At various points in your life, guides in the form of different people will come and go; people who will help you move towards the next step in realizing your true potential. Ultimately, you will reach a point wherein you will have to reach within to identify the direction you need to take. External forces will help you to a point where you realize that the true permanent guide is within you, and all you have to do is build the capability, and trust, to listen.
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There were three major takeaways (for me) that I had listed after I read the book. However, when I thought about it now, I could remember only one. It still made sense though. The aspect about society and conditioning, or the aspect about guides who’ll come into your life, are topics that I’ve discussed extensively with my therapist. In fact, social condition was one of the earliest things we worked on in my therapy sessions. Hence these did not stick in my mind in relation to this specific book. What hit me hard was the right and wrong bit, which I remembered even now.
Some key messages that I’ve got from books that I’ve read
I thought of a few books that I had read, and tried to recollect the key takeaways for me from those books. In most cases, I had only one message. I’ve listed some examples of books and my takeaway from them below (I’m still in the process of reading/re-reading some of these books):
What you think of me is none of my business, by Terry-Cole Whitaker: False guilt and how it affects us. I understood the difference between actual guilt and false guilt only from this book.
The Road less travelled, by M. Scott Peck: Delayed gratification is a key behavioural trait that we need to teach ourselves and our children. You don’t get to do what you like all the time, and while it is natural to procrastinate on things that you don’t want to do, practising delayed gratification will help you get it done anyway without the stress that comes with procrastinating. I haven’t completed this book yet by the way. I shifted over to another book for some reason; can’t recollect now. I need to get back to it. A previous post of mine that talks about delayed gratification.
You can heal your life, by Louise Hay: You become your thoughts. Affirmations are a powerful way to retrain your subconscious. Repeat, write, remember the affirmation ‘I am good enough’ every day, and one day you will retrain your subconscious to believe you are good enough.
The power of awareness, by Neville Goddard: You can visualise and manifest anything you want. You want a car you don’t think you can buy now, visualise and feel how it would feel when you actually have it, and it will happen. Of course, car is a materialistic example, but the essence is that you can manifest your world. You have that power. The universe will only support you in what you want.
I am that, by Sudhakar S.Dikshit, Nisargadutta Maharaj: You have the power to create anything for yourself, but just leave it be and go with what the universe is offering you at any given point of time. Any form of desire is pointless. You’ll do more harm trying to force change what the universe has already planned for you.
The Krishnamurti Reader, by J.Krishnamurti – The world we see is a projection of our memory and conditioning. Do we actually see? Do we actually listen? Can we see without our thoughts and memory? Can you see a leaf and see it for what it is; not that it’s a green leaf, or a leaf on a Gulmohar tree and all that? Just see it for what it is. Can we do that? Can we listen without thoughts?
Divine Matrix, by Gregg Braden: What we think is possible is extremely limited. There are scientific experiments that prove time-distance might not matter. Our thoughts pretty much create our universe. This is the only book where I could recollect another message- pets act like our mirrors. I’ve written about this before here.
As you can see above, when I think about a book I’ve read six months or a year ago, only one or two key messages come to my mind. And I think that’s enough. Probably I’ll read some of these again, and complete the books that I haven’t finished, like I am that and Road Less Travelled, and I might get new message. I also have 4 books lined up to read next, so yeah, packed schedule!
Links to the above mentioned books in case you are interested:
What you think of me is none of my business, by Terry-Cole Whitaker
The Road less travelled, by M. Scott Peck
You can heal your life, by Louise Hay
The power of awareness, by Neville Goddard
I am that, by Sudhakar S.Dikshit, Nisargadutta Maharaj
The Krishnamurti Reader, by J.Krishnamurti
Divine Matrix, by Gregg Braden