I grew when I was ready to seek help. I grew as I learned to trust the process. I grew as I became aware of myself. I grew as I broke societal protocols. I grew as I experienced freedom. I grew as I again plunged into depths. I grew as I learned to pull myself up. I grew just by going through my emotional roller coaster.
I’m frustrated that I still go through highs and lows. I’m frustrated that I still don’t understand why I’m low some times. I’m frustrated that my loved ones bear the brunt of my lows. I’m frustrated that I still get stressed about small things.
I wonder if I’ll ever get out of this. And I realize all my growth has come from phases of frustration. I wonder then if there is an end to this is cycle, and do I want it to end? And I realize I’ve grown so much that I don’t recognise the person I was two years ago. So, I welcome my lows, for only then I’ll grow.
If I welcome my lows, I wonder if I can stay cheerful through despair? Is that even possible? Like we brush off a headache and go about our day. Who’s to say what’s possible? I’ll know the next time I’m low.